Change

Yesterday, while sitting in church, I started writing from deep within myself. I felt my heart crying out to God for change. This was the results of that...
God is stirring inside of me. I must respond to it. I need His peace in my life. I need to actively pursue Him again. I have become so wrapped up in my daily routine. I have sat stagnant too long. I have to do this for me, my family, my children. I am the only hope they have to know Him. He has amazing things in store for us, but we must live a life that honors him. I have so many shortcomings and have allowed them to paralyze me. I can't sit and watch it all pass by me anymore. I find myself envious of others relationship with Christ, sitting and wishing I was so in tune and connected. I know I can have that in my life, that is what He longs for, but I must be active in making it happen. If I want to have a passionate relationship with Christ, I must chase after it. If I want my family to be passionate for Christ, I have to live that in front of them. I do not want them to see me as a fraud. The thought of that breaks my heart. I want to live a life that will inspire them. I want my husband and children to be proud of the person that I am. I want to live a life that is a true reflection of Christ. I need strength, endurance, willpower and drive. God, please help me respond to whatever it might be you are calling me to do. Help me to lay down the things of this world and focus completely on You. Help me to not get wrapped up in the day in, day out routine. I DO NOT WANT TO LIVE AN IN EFFECTIVE LIFE! Help me be effective for your plan, your purpose, your will. Amen.